As I am sitting here on an early Wednesday morning, one hand holding my coffee and the other tapping furiously away on the keyboard, I am reflecting on how my body feels in the current space it occupies...
I don’t have Netflix, so I haven’t seen “To the Bone,” the latest “anorexic drama” starring Lily Collins. I don’t think I want to; it looks stupid and stereotypical. But the pictures of Collins, pretty and pale-cheeked in her oversized hospital gown, her face perfectly made up …
I recall being in the fifth grade and wondering why I didn’t resemble the other girls in my class. I did, I was just under the impression that I didn’t. Who I was in my mirror and who I was in photos was not the same entity.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve struggled with my relationship with my body. For the past 23 years, I’ve been actively recovering from an eating disorder. In the past 5 years, I’ve finally felt like I was in a place where recovery wasn’t an active struggle. It isn’t that time finally caught up and I stopped caring about food or my body, or that the eating disorder magically disappeared. What happened is that I started running.
The holidays, while a beautiful time for many, can be a really big challenge for individuals who struggle with an eating disorder. Not only is food a part of just about every event that takes place but it seems to creep into our regular day to day in ways that aren’t typical...
The first time I read something by Roxane Gay, it was (like many people) her best-selling essay collection, Bad Feminist. ... But now what Roxane Gay brings us is Hunger, a memoir so beautifully written that you won’t want to put it down, but so raw and painful that you’ll have to.
I want you to know that recovery is, and always will be, worth it. You don’t have to be haunted by food and calorie counting but rather can experience true joy, love and happiness in life. If you, or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, there is hope. Reach out for help and begin your journey to wellness today.
When I think back to my first few months in eating disorder recovery at Woodstone Residence (now the Looking Glass Residence), I recall being overwhelmed by the intensity and unfamiliarity of my new routine. Stepping into treatment felt like I was an unarmed and untrained soldier being going into battle for the first time.
Do you ever look back on situations, experiences or memories, and feel like you were completely checked out?
Sometimes I wake up and think; have I been asleep for the last 6 months? What have I missed?
Q: If I don’t step on the scale, how am I supposed to know how I feel?
A: I am so grateful I got asked this question because it raises a very important issue and one that I feel deserves to be written about.