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Tips For Setting Goals In A Positive & Meaningful Way

By Maja Kostanski

"The next weeks or so, you are about to be inundated with information that supports your belief that you are not enough. Do you want to put your energy into changing who you are? Or challenging that belief? One has limited results, the other, limitless." - Kate Horsman

I came across this quote a few days ago and loved it because it shares the same message as a poem that was written by an amazing Looking Glass volunteer titled "You Are Enough, A Thousand Times Enough", which you can read here or you can watch and share here. "You are enough" is such a powerful and important message, and even more so at this time of year, when we will inevitably be exposed to a constant flow of information about dieting, exercise, productivity, and more, telling us to change ourselves in every way possible. The problem with this information overload is that it implies that there is something "wrong" with how we are now or who we are at the core, and therefore, we need to completely transform ourselves. It is not uncommon to attach a much bigger (and unnecessary) meaning to change, that is rooted in the idea that "we are not good enough", which then makes the concept of change feel daunting and defeating. Not to mention that when we embark on a journey to change that feels overwhelming from the beginning, we set ourselves up for failure because our expectations are so high. Getting from point A to Z is much more intimidating than getting from point A to B. And so, the cycle of "I'm not good enough" continues.

For some people, setting goals is just not for them and this is totally okay. Maybe you've never enjoyed the pressure that comes with goal setting, or you feel that at this point in your recovery journey you would like to avoid setting any type of goal, even if it was recovery focused, because it just adds stress and overwhelm to your life. Our ED therapist, Kaela Scott, summarized it well saying "January 1st can be a time of healthy transition, disordered goals or it can just be another day. Either way, you get to choose. If you are someone who likes to have goals, then set the goals according to what you know will be good for you, not your eating disorder. And if you don’t, then choose to see January 1st for what it is, just another day of the week." You do get to choose how you approach not only the first few weeks of January, but every day of the year.

Personally, I've always found it therapeutic to set goals and for years, I've kept journals with my thoughts and doodles, and crafted countless vision boards. After reading Kate's quote though I was inspired to re-think my approach to goal-setting and have crafted some tips on how to set responsible and meaningful goals:

-When setting goals, stick to your values and focus on your priorities. It's very easy when setting goals to feel like we should change everything about ourselves, particularly due to the information overload we get these days from social media and media in general. It's not enough to only set personal goals, we also need to set finance, activity, relationship, career, travel, school, creative and fill-in-the-blank-every-other-type-of-resolution-under-the-sun goals. It's up to you to decide how many goals you want to set and I encourage you to prioritize goals based on your values and what you WANT to focus on at this point of your life. For example, if an important value for you right now is stability then perhaps focus in on your personal and finance goals. As much as you would love to set the same lofty travel goals as your best friend, maybe that doesn't quite fit with your desire to simplify your schedule and save money, and that's okay! Or maybe you are far along on your eating disorder recovery journey and you've decided that going back to school is really important for you this year, in which case setting school and productivity goals is the way to go. If you need some help with determining your core values try this exercise. Remember, core values can change and adapt as you grow.

-Avoid defining yourself by your goals or choices. Often as a society, we refer and compare ourselves to others based on career choices, the activities we engage in regularly or the values we have. For example, you might introduce a friend saying "Meet my friend Melissa, she's a nurse and she's such a yogi" or "Oh my friend Mark? You mean the mountain biker?". There's nothing wrong with talking about or appreciating someone's career or values, the problem arises when those descriptors are used to define someone without taking into the account their entire being and all the other wonderful qualities they have. When we define ourselves based solely on our choices and activities, we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to adhere to those definitions, which can actually be arbitrary. Take the word "artist" for example. What makes someone an artist? Do they have to paint everyday, or can they paint once a week? Do they have to sell their artwork or can they just do art for themselves? So if your goal is to practice art more often, avoid thinking "I want to be an artist", and instead focus on the action "I want to paint a new flower once a week for 2 months". This also makes life easier if you decide you no longer what to do an activity or career anymore because even personally, you will feel less attached to the definition and find it easier to let go of something that may not serving or engaging you anymore. You won't feel as if there's a "hole" in who you are, because ultimately you are much more than your career or your daily activities! Again, there's nothing wrong with wanting to be described as an accountant or journalist, or as a skier or writer, and sometimes those titles can be motivating in themselves, but try and not let those descriptors overshadow your core self and all the amazing qualities you have.

-Approach goals with an "I am already enough and by setting goals I am not trying to change who I am. Simply put, there are some things I would like to do differently, and some activities I am really excited about starting" mindset. By framing your goals in this way, the process seems far less intimidating and it also leaves little room for failure, because at the end of the day, you are already great just as you are now so even if you don't stick to a goal, it doesn't make you a bad or unworthy person. I know it might be hard to adopt this way of thinking, particularly if you've struggled with feeling good enough for years or longer. Well like with anything worth doing, flipping the script takes practice and genuine self reflection. If you find it challenging to say "I am enough", then start by listing positive qualities about yourself such as "I am a great friend" or "When I put my mind to something, I am always committed" or "I'm great at supporting others". By affirming these qualities in your mind, they will start to stick and form the bigger picture of being worthy and enough. Another way of approaching this is to think of what you would say to a friend if they came to you and said "I haven't been able to stick to going to the gym or learning how to play the piano. I'm such a failure!" Chances are you'd remind them of how great of a friend they are to you and you'd tell them to be more gentle with themselves.

-Avoid the "all or nothing" trap. Even if we set SMART goals and embrace the mindset of "I am already enough!", it can still rock our world if we slip up on our goals. It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking, "Well I've messed up today, so I might as well give up completely." When I struggled with my eating disorder several years ago, I constantly fell into this trap because either I was "perfect" with my eating habits, or I would binge - there was no in between. For those struggling or for those who have struggled in the past, it's easy to get caught up in the idea of perfectionism or black and white thinking. This can be a dangerous cycle in both eating disorders, and in goal setting, because the reality is: you are only human. We must embrace the fact that perfection does not exist and that this militant mindset is full of flaws and can lead us down a spiral of anxiety and depression.

To help explain this, I want to draw inspiration from nature, because even nature is far from perfect and in fact, it thrives on imperfection. "Human beings and nature exist in the context of an external environment that is in constant motion. The speed and complexity of this dynamic world continues to accelerate, causing problems to mutate and adding layers of unexpected variation. Perfection, however, requires an environment that is static and highly controlled. Trying to achieve that state is like trying to stop nature from growing and evolving – our lives simply cannot work that way successfully, at least not for long."- Dr. Kathleen E. Allen. And so, even if we slip up on our goals, I encourage you to forgive yourself and move on. Picture yourself as a beautiful flower or a strong tree transforming and adapting to the environment around it. By doing so, you will discover within yourself a resiliency and tenacity that was just waiting to be found.

As we start the New Year, please be kind and compassionate to yourself and share the same message with your friends. Remember, you are already more than enough. Your goals, intentions and subsequent choices are just an extension of the amazing person you already are.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text][dt_divider style="thin" /]

Maja is the Communications Coordinator at the Looking Glass Foundation, and holds a Bachelor of Science in Food, Nutrition and Health from the University of British Columbia and a Digital Marketing Certificate from Simon Fraser University. When she isn't working, you can find her mountain biking, hiking or running in the trails with her energetic dog.

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By Kaela Scott

As we wrap up this year and head into the holidays, we at Looking Glass wanted to take a moment to acknowledge and thank you for welcoming us into your journey over the past 12 months. The holidays are a time that bring up a lot. For many it can be a time that feels like too much of some things and not enough of others. Expectations typically run high and many people end up feeling overwhelmed by the pressure to have a “perfect” holiday season when it can feel like anything but. We have posted some great blogs over the year giving strategies on how to best deal with the holidays or challenging times and I would recommend you take a moment to read through them so you can set yourself up to be successful heading into and out of the holiday season. It’s okay if the holidays are tough but it doesn’t mean you have to be tough on yourself.

I think one of the magical things about this season is how it sets you up to reflect on the past and dream about the future at the same time. It gives you an opportunity to see how far you have come and the places you still want to grow into. If we choose gentleness, this time of year can bring about increased self-awareness and compassion. These two things are fundamental in your journey to wellness because through compassion and a more honest and authentic relationship with ourselves we can learn how to set ourselves free from the abusive relationship we have with the disorder. What is so often neglected in our journey is the ability to look back and see how far we have come. Every step, big or small, noticeable or not, makes a difference and equips you with the skills to overcome the next hiccup that comes your way. I genuinely believe that recovery is the journey of 1000 or more often a million, steps. The more you recognize each step you have taken the more it will motivate you to keep going.

As the year and decade come to an end we hope you take this time to realize the strength inside you for making it this far. The journey to recovery is a bumpy one, and even if you are at the beginning it takes a lot of courage to want to face yourself so you can lead a happier, freer life. As you enter into the New Year, know that we at the foundation are here to support you if you find yourself looking for a safe place to land along the way. Wishing you wellness in 2020.


Kaela Scott is a Registered Clinical Counsellor who specializes in Eating Disorders. She runs her own private practice and works with the Looking Glass Foundation in both their summer camp and their Hand In Hand Program. She has been passionate about working with eating disorders since freeing herself from her own struggle and realizing what it is like to be happy and well. When she isn’t working, you can find Kaela either cozying up with a cup of tea and her friends or up in the mountains going for a hike. 

By Brandy Mackintosh

When you’re struggling with an eating disorder, the holidays can be very hard.

Considerable emphasis is placed on being happy and carefree, but when every moment of your day is spent battling your eating disorder, that can feel impossible. It’s easy to get caught up in shame feeling that there is something deeply wrong with you for not being able to feel the joy that everyone around you seems to be feeling.

I’ve been there.

Prior to my eating disorder, Christmas was my favorite time of year and I looked forward to December with pure excitement. However, when I was deeply struggling, Christmas became the time of year I felt most alone.

The social gatherings focused on food and having to spout a highlight reel of your year to people you only see at the holidays can be incredibly anxiety provoking, and it can leave you feeling inferior to everyone around you. In fact, Christmas became the time of year I dreaded most because I felt immense pressure to pretend and put on a show – no one understood how painful and exhausting it was to fake a smile and battle the voice in my head that told me I was worthless and that I didn’t deserve to eat.

However, when I stepped into recovery, I learned to see the beauty in this time of year and to have compassion for myself; to take care of myself instead of falling into the familiar pattern of self-loathing.

For me, this started with identifying something that I was grateful for every day, no matter how small. My favorite Christmas song played on the radio, I had a mug of my favorite tea, I sat by the fire and read – anything. My list wasn’t filled with grand items, or things that people might tell me I should be grateful for, but it was filled with things that brought me a feeling of calm, appreciation, and peace. One day at a time I sought these moments of stillness and gratitude that slowly led me to feel grateful for more things, more moments, and more aspects of the season.

I also had to learn what works best for me and what I need when my stress levels rise. As an introvert, that personally looks like cultivating time alone to think and breathe and be - whether that is journaling, reading, or watching a movie under the covers. Building these moments of authenticity into my day, where I felt I could truly be myself and express whatever I needed to, helped me through the times when a smile and a highlight reel was needed. I also learned to schedule these moments so they fell before or after (or both) social gatherings to give me time to recharge and lower my anxiety.

I learned how to reach out and ask for help when I was struggling, and to be kind to myself in the moments when my recovery felt shaky. I learned who my support people were, and I used communication with them to remind me that I was strong, I was okay, I was truly loved and valued, and I could make it through.

Finally, I had to make new traditions. I expected (as did many others) that recovery meant I would simply go back to the old way of being before the eating disorder took hold, but the truth is that this journey changes you. I was not the same me that I was before recovery, and it wasn’t fair to expect myself to be. Finding new ways of celebrating the season and building new memories and traditions that felt right for me was a powerful step in reclaiming the love I once felt for this time of year.

If the holidays are hard for you, or you’re feeling anxious about this time of year, please know that you are not alone. We are a community of people that know the struggle that comes with this illness, and we stand with you through this season and always. I have felt the loneliness and shame that you are feeling, and I also know how beautiful it can be to take this season back from the eating disorder’s grip one day, one moment, and one small step at a time.

I encourage you to identify at least one person that you can turn to for support over the holidays (a friend, family member, spouse/partner, counsellor) and if that seems impossible then perhaps consider the peer support programs with Looking Glass.

Take a moment to identify what works best for you when your stress levels rise and things seems overwhelming; maybe it’s time on your own, getting into nature, spending time with animals, or being around other people. It doesn’t matter what it is but try and prioritize it and plan to spend time doing it when the month gets busy and stressful.

Also, know that you don’t have to be the same person you once were, and you do not have to be the person other people want you to be. YOU get to decide who you are and what is important to you, and I encourage you to look for ways to build traditions that feel significant for you. Maybe you need to go to the social gatherings or holiday parties that are challenging because they are important to your loved ones, but maybe you can also celebrate this time of year in a way that brings you joy and honours what you truly need.

Finally, spend time finding at least one thing every day that you can be grateful for - no matter how small. These approaches helped me immensely to not only get through the holiday season when I was beginning recovery, but they helped me learn to love Christmas again and to look forward to it with the excitement I once had. Not because everything is the same now (or because I am the same), but because I have learned to appreciate this season in a way that fits for me. I hope you are able to do the same.

May you find peace this season, and may you know that you are not alone.


Brandy is a Master of Counselling Psychology student at Adler University and is passionate about supporting others on their journey to recovery. She lives in North Vancouver and her favorite things include cats, time spent by ocean, coffee dates, and getting lost in a good book.

By Shaely Ritchey

We are heading into the holiday season with its bright lights, festive decorations, traditions and holiday favourites, from movies to meals. This time of year brings with it many emotions, such as joy, excitement, and love, but also moments of stress, loneliness, and overwhelm. For those in recovery from an eating disorder, it can be a challenging time as much of the holiday season centers on food and family – both sources of nourishment and stress.

Navigating triggers such as diet talk, social events or social isolation, and having to engage with different situations around food, can bring up a lot of difficult feelings. However, the holiday season can also bring with it the opportunity to challenge ourselves, create new memories, and engage with new experiences. Doing so is certainly not always easy, but there are ways in which we can protect our recovery when we find ourselves caught up in moments that put us to the test.

Creating Space for Ourselves

Amidst a flurry of holiday activities, finding space to recharge and ground ourselves is vital self-care. It is always okay to set boundaries around engagement and to take time away from activity to ensure we are looking after ourselves. Often it can feel as though if we are not committing 100% of our energy to something then we must be failing. However, offering 20% of ourselves in our efforts to engage is just as meaningful, even if we have to step away after a time or set a boundary around the type of activity we are engaging in. It is always okay to choose to partake in the activities that feel they support you and help you grow over other options that might feel more draining. We get to decide how we are going to engage and what is meaningful to us.

It can be quite helpful to have a few ideas of restoring activities or practices that we can turn to if we are feeling drained. Whether these are in the moment (such as deep breathing or stepping away for a second to ground ourselves) or practices we can carve out time for (reading, yoga, connecting with nature, talking to a supportive person in our lives.)

Disengaging with Diet Talk

One of the most challenging parts of the holiday season is the heavy presence of diet talk. It has become such a normal part of this season, starting with end of the year celebrations and moving on to new year’s resolutions. Watch what you eat, holiday weight, a sense of guilt for indulgence, weight loss as self-improvement... These ideas become more concentrated, discussed, and marketed around the holidays. However, just because this kind of attitude towards food and our relationship with our bodies has become commonplace, does not mean we have to accept it for ourselves and our lives. To reject the harmful notions of diet culture is radical act of self-love, but it is not always an easy thing to do. Toxic diet culture messages are pervasive in our personal interactions, from comments people make, to the broader cultural messages we receive at this time of year (and beyond). Still, there are some things we can do to look after our needs.

Practicing Gratitude

Practicing gratitude is a simple but powerful skill. It can help us to remember that “while every day may not be good, there is some good in every day.” It can help us pick out the good moments from the stressful ones. Human brains have the tendency to focus on the negative as it has helped our species adapt and survive. However, this is not always well suited to today’s day and age though and that is why finding the good in each day (no matter how small) can help challenge your brain to notice the details to be cherished and celebrated.

There are many ways to practice gratitude. I personally strive to take a photo each day as it helps me pause and notice the beautiful details in the every day. But you can also write down your gratitude’s, quietly reflect on them in a personal practice, or find some other way of connecting with them. It is what works for you that matters.

Reflecting on Progress

As the year comes to an end, it is the perfect time to reflect on and celebrate the progress you have made this year. You might not be where you want to be just yet, but that does not erase the steps you have taken this year even if you have just felt like you are surviving. Each time we face our fears, challenge ourselves, and survive our thoughts, we take something back of ourselves and fight for a future we deserve. Even when things have not worked out how we might have hoped or there were things that happened that we could not have foreseen. Even if these feel like steps backward or an unanticipated change in direction, you survived the best way you knew how and that is courageous. The pieces may not have fallen together yet, but that does not change the fact that you have learned and grown or that you are deserving of love and a future where the pieces do fall into place. Life is fluid and we move with it the best way we know how. You have survived, maybe you have thrived. No matter what, you are a warrior. Keep fighting for the life you deserve.

Here are some questions to consider in your reflective practice:

Setting Intentions

The other gift this time of year offers is the chance to look forward and set our intentions for what is to come. Setting intentions can look like anything, from concrete goal-planning to simply holding space to imagine the future and what we hope it to be. Without a doubt life will bring its challenges and things may shift in ways we cannot anticipate, but we can still open ourselves up to thinking about the future (even if it feels hard to relate to) and what we might want to see from it.

Here are some reflective questions to get you started:

Self-Compassion

Last but certainly not least, this time of year is a wonderful opportunity to practice compassion for ourselves. Likely we will run into stresses that challenge us and make us want to retreat from engagement over the coming weeks. While it is often hardest to reach for self-compassion in moments of challenge, it is usually the time when we need it the most. So, this holiday season when you are faced with anxiety over food, stressed by social situations, or feeling isolated while it might seem everyone else in the world is connecting, be gentle with yourself. Look for the ways you can comfort yourself, practice self-care, remember you are human, and find what renews your soul.

The holiday season can be tough. Recovery can be tough, but guess what, so are you.


Shaely is a registered nurse with interest in further education in nursing or medicine. She is also a passionate mental health advocate in her community. In her spare time she loves taking photographs, getting outdoors, and petting as many dogs as she can.

Vancouver, BC, December 12, 2019 –- The Looking Glass Foundation is pleased to receive a $20,000 Bell Let’s Talk Community Fund grant to support enhancement programs at the Looking Glass Residence, a 14-bed facility where youth aged 16 to 24 receive care from medical and mental health professionals.

“We are very grateful to receive a Bell Let’s Talk Community Fund grant to support our enhancement programs for youth with eating disorders,” said Susan Climie, Executive Director of the Looking Glass Foundation. “This grant will make a direct difference in the lives of our Looking Glass residents. Thank you for helping to make recovery for our young people possible.”

The Looking Glass Foundation will use the Bell Let’s Talk grant to provide enhancement programs, including yoga, garden therapy, outings and other activities and, to help youth hone the life skills and confidence to support their ongoing recovery. Enhancements were developed to round out therapeutic work, focusing on mindfulness, self-awareness, skills and confidence to live without an eating disorder. The program is expected to help an estimated 75 clients over the next year.

“Bell Let’s Talk is pleased to assist the Looking Glass Foundation’s work to help youth in the Vancouver area living with an eating disorder get the ongoing support they need as they recover from their illness,” said Mary Deacon, Chair of Bell Let’s Talk. “This year we are helping over 120 organizations across the country on the frontlines of providing access to a wide range of mental health services in their communities, just like the Looking Glass Foundation.”

The Looking Glass Foundation’s programs and services are developed by a team that has lived experience with eating disorders, either personally or through a loved. Our work is grounded in our values: Compassion, Hope, Integrity, Accessibility, Collaboration, Accountability, Courage.

For more information about the Looking Glass Foundation’s residence program, please visit https://www.lookingglassbc.com/residential-care.

The Bell Let’s Talk initiative promotes Canadian mental health with national awareness and anti-stigma campaigns like Bell Let’s Talk Day and significant funding of community care and access, research and workplace leadership initiatives. To learn more, please visit Bell.ca/LetsTalk.

Photo from L to R: Kim Williams, Looking Glass Residence Manager; Kara Kingston, Bell Let's Talk Representative; Debbie Slattery, Looking Glass Board Chair[/vc_column_text][vc_empty_space][/vc_column][/vc_row]

By Paige Freeborn

“Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful part of us.”

~ David Richo

In Japan, there is an ancient artform known as kintsugi, which involves mending broken pottery using a lacquer infused with precious metals. The intention is to view the breakage and repair of the object as an important part of its history. The object is considered more valuable once it has been pieced back together, and it is a symbol of both the fragility and the strength of life. This supports the Japanese aesthetic of wabi-sabi, which honours the imperfection and impermanence that flow through all of life. This is an ancient philosophy that speaks to the inevitable challenges we face as we move through life, and how this shapes us as we age. The belief is that when we allow our scars and imperfections to shine through, without the glossy veneer of unattainable perfection, we are in touch with our most present and natural way of being. This is a practice of developing an appreciation for both the joys and sorrows of life, recognizing that the totality of our experience involves fully embracing transience and suffering. People and objects are seen as more beautiful because of the wear and tear they have endured, and their imperfections are a mark of their strength and resilience.

Much like the broken pottery, recovering from an eating disorder is a remarkable journey of piecing our lives back together. It is a journey of challenge, discovery, and growth, as we gain a new perspective on life. When I was ill, I didn’t realize how I would come to appreciate the lessons my eating disorder would teach me. My illness and recovery are now beautiful reminders of the path I have traveled, and the lessons I have learned are gifts that flow through my life.

A GRATEFUL PERSPECTIVE 

When we are ill, our perspective narrows, and the focal point of our life becomes the eating disorder. Often, we feel desperate, alone, and confused, lacking in the strength and resilience we need to fully engage with life. Finding clarity in our thoughts and skillfully prioritizing our time can be a challenge, and supporting ourselves in even the most basic ways can feel like an impossible and overwhelming task. Overcoming an eating disorder involves cultivating a new perspective on life. As we restore balance, we develop the capacity to feel grateful for the gifts in our lives, and we open up our senses to the beauty that surrounds us. Once recovered, our experiences are that much richer because we are able to embrace life with a new outlook and a new set of skills. As we recover, we learn to give up the delusion of perfection and embrace the sensitivity, fragility, and uncertainty of life. As we come to accept our imperfections and mistakes with more lightness and humour, our perspective broadens, and we are left with a worldview that is steeped in gratitude. Over two decades into my recovery, I still notice how grateful I am to be free of my eating disorder, and gratitude is a foundational part of my worldview.

THE CREATION OF SPACE

Eating disorders can feel all consuming. When we are in the deepest grips of our illness, we feel powerless to stop it, and the resulting anxiety can rob us of much of our energy. Sometimes, we are barely capable of doing anything more than living in survival mode, which is marked by a deep exhaustion. To recover from an eating disorder is to breathe life into life. In this space, we discover a new-found sense of joy and freedom, which allows us to connect more with the world around us. When the turbulence of the eating disorder subsides, we are able to view the world with a sense of awe and wonder. This is a spacious focus that is oriented toward hope, connection, and belonging. 

A SENSE OF BELONGING

Eating disorders can leave us feeling numb, as though we are moving through the world without fully being a part of it. This isolation and loneliness speak to a sense of not belonging, and at the deepest level, we feel like we aren’t deserving of our place in the world. The process of recovery is the process of realizing that we do belong, and that we are inherently worthy, without having to achieve anything or do anything. Despite our imperfections, we are worthy, because of the fact that we are human. Our worth does not have to be earned, nor do we need to feel shame because we are not living up to someone else’s standards. As we come into our own sense of belonging, we start to let down the walls of separation, and through this process, we discover we are not alone. Showing our vulnerability to others opens up a space in which we come to realize that we are all trying to find our sense of belonging and our place in the world. The universality of this realization, and the connection we experience when we share authentically with others, reinforces our sense of belonging.  

AUTHENTICITY

Eating disorders involve hiding the parts of ourselves that we don’t see as worthy, and as we hold back parts of who we are and how we feel, this gives the eating disorder more power. When we are in our illness, we fear rejection from others, and the resulting anxiety propels us further into our disease. Recovery calls for us to share our authentic self, and as we speak our truth and share our story, we start to trust the potency of our own voice. Our tolerance for inauthenticity decreases, and we are no longer willing to create space in our lives for those who judge us or attempt to diminish our self-worth. This boundary setting is a natural and important part of our journey, and allows us to see through the harmful body image and dieting messages that are falsely advertised as ‘healthy living’ in our culture. 

PATIENCE

Over time, we learn the truth of our eating disorder: despite its many pulls and promises, it will never release us from our suffering. As we come into this realization, we develop the capacity to face our illness with a greater sense of calm and ease. The road to recovery is non-linear, and is filled with unpredictable twists and turns. There are countless moments of anxiety and shame, and in these moments, it can seem as though we are regressing. In time, we come to realize that our lowest moments are the great wellspring of our healing, as they provide us with the opportunity to become more compassionate with ourselves. Time and again, we learn to become patient with ourselves by sitting in the fire of our illness. Over time, we learn to become less reactive as we ride the waves of our illness, and in the end, we learn that we are more loving and wise than we thought possible. This realization is the miraculous path to healing.

GENEROSITY

The process of recovery involves learning to receive generosity. Throughout our recovery, we seek supportive people who accept us as we are, and help us create a safe space for healing. Along the way, we develop our own capacity to be a safe presence for others by receiving suffering in a non-judgemental way, and creating a generous space for others to heal. As we practice being kind, we witness ourselves being kind, and healing becomes a two-way mirror of vulnerability and compassion. As we allow authentic, caring, and non-judgemental people into our lives, we learn what support looks like, and that it has the power to help restore a sense of safety and belonging. Offering a safe, non-judgemental space for an eating disorder sufferer is a life-giving act. In time, we come to trust in our ability to receive generosity, and to give generously to others as well. 

I am deeply grateful for the gifts of my recovery. My scars are sacred wounds that have transformed my life, and helped me create a new story. I notice each new crack as a beautiful reminder of the path I have traveled, and my capacity to understand and honour the fragility of life. Each difficulty is an offering, and an opportunity to learn to become a more wise and loving person. As the great Canadian poet and musician Leonard Cohen once wrote: Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in.


Paige Freeborn is an artist, educator, meditation and yoga teacher, and cultural leader who recovered from an eating disorder over twenty years ago. She works with teenagers and adults to help them develop more self-awareness and self-compassion, and to support them as they become a support for others. Over the years, Paige has oriented much of her life around service. She is grateful to be involved with the Looking Glass Foundation’s Hand In Hand Program, and to have a chance to work with the extraordinary people who are a part of this organization.

Last week, the Canadian Eating Disorder Alliance, released a progressive strategy that contains 6 pillars and 50 recommendations aimed at improving outcomes for people living with and recovering from eating disorders and related mental illnesses. The 6 pillars include prevention, public education and awareness, treatment, caregiver support, training, and research (https://nied.ca/canadian-eating-disorders-strategy/).

The Looking Glass Foundation aligns with the recommendations put forward and we are pleased to see the strategy receiving media coverage, which helps to increase awareness about eating disorders and the gaps in treatment that are evident across Canada.

More funding is needed for specialized services for patients with eating disorders of varying severity. We urge you to consider the positive impact that peer support programs can provide to those struggling with eating disorders. At Looking Glass, all our peer support programs are available to all genders, are offered at no cost, with no limit to usage, and support individuals struggling with any type of eating disorder or disordered eating. By increasing accessibility, our programs play an important role in all stages of eating disorders, from prevention and early intervention to relapse prevention and recovery. Looking Glass Foundation’s programs decrease isolation, instill hope, and sustain recovery for individuals on their road to recovery.

Recovery is Possible. We encourage you to donate to Looking Glass so you can ensure support is available to the hundreds of individuals who have the courage to reach out for help: Donate today!

A big thank you to the national eating disorder organizations for developing this strategy and advocating for change. Click here for coverage in the Globe and Mail and here to access the pdf version of the strategy.

Hello! My name is Sydney and I couldn’t be more excited to join the Looking Glass Community as the new Volunteer & Program Coordinator. I first learned about the Looking Glass Foundation when I was designing a hypothetical eating disorder treatment program for my undergraduate thesis, and three years later, after completing a Masters of Science in Eating Disorders and Clinical Nutrition, here I am!

I am passionate about supporting eating disorder recovery and truly believe the programs offered by the Looking Glass Foundation are pivotal in helping people achieve full recovery as they are accessible, consistent, and, most importantly, run by a community of volunteers and staff that truly understand what eating disorder sufferers and caregivers are going though. Although I have only been apart of the Looking Glass Community for two weeks, it already fills a special place in my heart as the community is made up of compassionate, resilient, kind, and dedicated individuals who, I believe, are making huge strides in improving eating disorder care. I couldn’t be more excited to be apart of this community and I am looking forward to meeting so many more of you over the next little while.

Beyond my ambition to help alleviate eating disorder suffering, I love to dance, read, travel, and hike. As well, I have recently started having a lot of fun learning to cook - if you have any favorite recipes please send them my way, I would love to try them! I love spending time with family and friends and you can often find me catching up with someone over tea or a walk outside.

On another note, I hope that everyone has a wonderful and relaxing Thanksgiving weekend. I know holidays can be tough, especially ones that seem to revolve around food so if you are struggling please try to be extra gentle on yourself. I think holidays are a great time to reinforce self-care behaviours. I will definitely be taking some time to journal, connect with my family, and reflect on the busy fall season and I encourage you to take care of yourself in whatever way serves you best. As well, as you reflect on what you are thankful for I encourage to include some things about yourself - I am certain each of you are incredibly special and have something to celebrate.

I am looking forward to meeting and working with so many of you, don’t hesitate to reach out and say hello any time!


From all of us here at the Looking Glass Foundation: Welcome Sydney!

By Alessia Turco

I never imagined I'd be here. I never imagined I'd be the one typing out a blog post such as this one. I never imagined I'd be speaking from a place of growth rather than a place of suffering. I never imagined I'd recover.

When healing begins to feel impossible, seeing a light at the end of the tunnel seems unrealistic. The truth is, it's hard to even search for the light. It is so easy to get engulfed by the darkness, to make a home in the shadows. I won't lie - it can get comfortable. It can get so comfortable that the thought of recovery can seem like nothing more than an immeasurable amount of unyielding commitment with no real reward.

When I was initially diagnosed with an eating disorder, I received support almost instantaneously. I feel so thankful to be able to say that, because, for others, help doesn't always come so readily available. Although it took me several years to come forward, when I did I was completely interested in the idea of aid, the idea of peace. The difficulty was that, once the glory period of initial strength and motivation passed, I was left in what felt like purgatory between suffering and recovering. The feeling of hopelessness can easily creep in. The darkness begins to welcome you and it feels comfortable and familiar. Don't let its soft embrace trick you into staying the week. Don't let the familiarity persuade you to believe that this is where you're supposed to be, that this is the destination, because when you get to recovery, you realize just how close you were after all.

Recovery is similar to climbing a mountain. It demands preparation, perseverance, and resilience. Sometimes the path is laid out for you and you soar up 100 feet with ease. Sometimes you have to go off-trail and the steepness can make you question why you began climbing in the first place. But once you approach the peak, once the fog lifts and you find yourself gazing at the panorama, you know you've made it. Once you can see others travelling the same path you did, once you feel empathy and compassion, you know you've made it. Once you kick the dirt off of your shoes and take in that first deep breath of crisp, mountain air, you know you've made it, and you will feel the most powerful and at peace you've ever felt before.


Alessia is a psychology major at Simon Fraser University and hopes to specialize in clinical counselling. Her interests lie in fine arts, poetry, and spending time with her loved ones. She openly speaks about her recovery and is always willing to lend a helping hand to those struggling with their mental health. 

By Rachel Glover

Eating Disorder. Binge eating disorder. I saw these words a lot when I was trying to self-diagnose the pain I was going through. I just didn’t want to believe them. Or that they described me. I couldn’t really have one, could I? I was the confident one. I was the one people came to for advice. I was the “ok” one. But I wasn’t really. At least I hadn’t been for a while. I knew that something was wrong. I would eat and then I would keep eating. And then I would feel disgusted and ashamed of myself. On the worst days, I really hated who I was. It was a cycle and I couldn’t break it. That’s how I ended up looking for answers online. Searching for a magic remedy to regain control.

Does this sound like you?

Maybe it does. When I was looking online I recognized myself in a lot of the stories I was reading except there was one major difference: these beautiful strong people were survivors, they had conquered their battle. And I hadn’t. I was trying but I kept slipping. I would tell myself I was finally stopping, and then go back to the disorder. I really needed help. If you still recognize yourself in this story, then maybe you are looking for that magic remedy too.

Here is my advice: Take this painful, heart breaking suffering and turn it to beauty. Take your experience, even if you are still in the middle of it, and share it. The first time I told a friend what I was struggling with was very emotional; I didn’t say three words before I started to cry. I felt a strange mixture of embarrassed and so, so exhausted. But instead of judging or not understanding, she listened. Then she did something I hadn’t expected: She cried too. A few weeks later she told me that she also had been struggling with an unhappiness similar to my own. She told me that hearing me talk about it, the way I desired so much more for myself then the anger I was feeling towards myself, provided her with encouragement to try to address her own struggle. She told me I had given her the motivation to embrace herself for who she was and move on to a better phase of life. She taught me the feeling of giving back.

Connect with others. I did and it saved my life. My friend and I are in recovery together. We provide support and strength for each other. She still struggles. So do I. We are by no means perfect. We are human. But we are taking what is very hard and scary and using it to make things better. We are each given a battle to fight. For some people it is material, for others it is against very literal opponents, and for some of us it is against ourselves. “We are our own toughest critic.” That’s probably a saying you’ve heard before. But we can also be our own fiercest motivators. That’s what I strive for every day. To help myself by helping others. That’s why I take the toughest experiences and put them to good use.

In my books, that is conquering the battle I have been given. In my books, that means I have won.


Rachel Glover lives in downtown Toronto and loves being in the city with all its noise and energy. She is also passionate about art, football, and music. In her downtime she’ll grab coffee with friends or read in the bath. Her motto, one that’s gotten her through a lot, is: “The toughest battles are given only to those strong enough to fight them.”

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