Family members, friends, and people who know or work with someone at risk for or already suffering from an eating disorder can help. There are caring, respectful, and meaningful ways to intervene and support those who are struggling with an eating disorder.
Intervening doesn't mean "fixing" the problem. It does mean indicating to someone the true strength of your relationship; that you can be a person they rely on for honesty, support, and encouragement. And it can make all the difference in the world.
The important thing is to initiate a conversation. It can be as simple as picking an appropriate time to say: "Come sit with me and have a cup of tea."
- Express your concerns. Be prepared to "speak the unspoken" - the truth that you might both know, but neither of you want to say out loud
- Encourage dialogue so you can both explore these concerns. Try not to tip-toe around the issue in fear of setting them off. Your discomfort or hesitation can be construed as a reason for the other person to withdraw, and that won't help either of you.
- Avoid placing shame, blame, or guilt. It isn't anyone's place to judge another person, nor is it helpful. Passing judgement, evenly subtly, will push someone away rather than draw them near
- Avoid asking for explanations. This isn't something you need to completely understand, nor is the other person accountable to you for answers.
- Avoid giving simple solutions. However well meaning, attempts to gloss over or put a positive spin on the situation isn't actually helpful and can actually feel dismissive or diminishing to the other person.
- Express your continued support. This is the most valuable thing you can offer - and deliver on.