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By Kaela Scott
Question: I have been hiding my eating disorder from my friends and family. How do I tell them that I am struggling?
Answer: Before I dive into this I do want to encourage you to acknowledge your own strength and courage. Telling people you love that you are struggling is a really important step towards recovery and I know it takes a lot of courage to be vulnerable and let people in.
In terms of how to tell them, the first thing I would recommend you do is take a deep breath and start writing. Before you tell other people either parts of your story you want to get comfortable with what exactly you want to share the first time you talk to them. Often these conversations take place over a period of time and you want to know what you feel comfortable sharing in the first round. For example, do you want to let them know you have been suffering with an eating disorder and that it has been going on for a certain length of time? Do you want to ask them to help or support in certain ways? Are you wanting them to let others know or would you like them to keep it to themselves?
I would encourage you to read what you write to yourself out loud. When we live with an eating disorder so much of what we experience and go through feels locked inside our own head. There is often a destructive dialogue on repeat in our mind that we aren’t even aware of. Speaking your story out loud to yourself will hopefully make you feel more comfortable when you share it with someone else.
When you are going to tell someone something as important and significant as this, we want to let them know in advance that we have something we want to talk to them about and ask them to set aside some time. Some people report that this can make them anxious and it likely will for you too, but doing so means that the other person will be not only more present but ideally better able to receive what you are sharing.
For example you could say something like “Hey mom, do you have a bit of time on Saturday for us to talk. I want to go over something with you that is important to me.” There is a chance that she may ask what it is and you have every right to tell her that you will share more when you talk on Saturday.
These conversations are big to share but they are also big to receive. In asking for them to set aside time and giving them some say in when a good time would be, it means both parties show up expecting to talk and hopefully with the ability to really listen.
Know that when you share you have taken a big step towards your recovery. Make space for both the feelings that come up in you as well as the feelings that come up for your loved one and be incredibly proud of yourself for having the courage to reach out. It is likely this conversation will be hard in a lot of ways (eating disorders thrive in secrecy so it typically feels quite overwhelming to share) but it also takes you one step closer to being free from your disorder.
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Kaela Scott is a Registered Clinical Counsellor who specializes in Eating Disorders. She runs her own private practice and works with the Looking Glass Foundation in both their summer camp and their Hand In Hand Program. She has been passionate about working with eating disorders since freeing herself from her own struggle and realizing what it is like to be happy and well. When she isn’t working, you can find Kaela either cozying up with a cup of tea and her friends or up in the mountains going for a hike.
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By Nikhita Singhal
One of the most terrifying aspects of eating disorders lies in their ability to convince those struggling that there is nothing wrong with continuing to hold on to the illness. No matter how many stories circulate of heart failure, organ damage, bone loss, and fertility problems – among a myriad of other medical complications – that terrible voice weaves its lies, promising us our case will be different.
We’re not like the others. We’re not as sick. We’ll be fine.
And so we cling to the illness and the security it pretends to provide.
Now, this is by no means a conscious decision – people do not choose to be afflicted with eating disorders, just as they do not desire to suffer from any other mental or physical ailment. However, eating disorders are unique in that letting go of one can seem as frightening as continuing to live with it. Keeping this in mind, it becomes easier to understand why so many individuals are resistant to treatment. Being afraid of defeating an eating disorder does not reflect weakness on the part of someone struggling, nor does it indicate that they enjoy being sick in any way. Instead, it is a reflection of the powerful grip that eating disorders have on our minds.
Despite this, those who are struggling often have moments of clarity. Sometimes it becomes impossible to avoid the fact that we’re not living life to the fullest, and we begin to contemplate seeking help. But being ready for recovery is crucial; when someone is forced into treatment against their will and has absolutely no desire to change, the result may often be a cycle of hospital admissions and downward spirals.
At the same time, waiting until you feel 100% committed to recovery is not a feasible option, either. While being open to the idea of recovery is essential, your level of readiness does not have to meet and maintain a certain threshold. Even after making an initial commitment to fight the illness, we often have an inkling of wanting to hang on to it and the security it provides. In treatment programs, some could interpret this as not being completely ready, and the unfortunate reality of current eating disorder treatment approaches is that there are simply not enough resources to provide customized, tailored care for each uniquely affected individual. Thus, many are unable to receive the support they need to the capacity they need it, and so slip through the cracks or give up on the idea of recovery. It’s frighteningly difficult to even get into a treatment program, and frighteningly easy to be removed from one for being unable to adhere to strict guidelines.
So where’s the middle ground?
In reality, we may never feel completely comfortable with the idea of letting go of the illness. Motivation waxes and wanes, and eating disorders have an irritating knack for coaxing us out of the desire to be rid of them. Like any other parasite, they want to survive. Thus, although one might feel empowered and ready to begin a treatment program after a particularly fruitful discussion, that drive may be leeched away within mere hours. When the eating disorder feels threatened, it attempts to convince us it’s not a problem.
This is where we must learn to avoid its trap. Recovery is not black and white – dichotomous thinking can be so dangerous, and simply does not accurately portray the world around us. We don’t have to be at one end of the spectrum or the other: ready for recovery or still totally engulfed in denial of the illness. Just a flicker of motivation is enough to push ourselves or to encourage a loved one we know is struggling. All we need is one strand of hope to set out on a journey toward emotional, mental, and physical health.
So when that motivation does come trickling in, ensnare it. Cling to it as tightly as the eating disorder is clinging to you, and don’t be afraid when you feel the hope slipping away. Remember that at one point you wanted to get better, and although you may not always feel as certain of this fact, there is a part of you fighting to survive and thrive.
There may be setbacks, relapses, and moments of intense doubt. In fact, there almost certainly will be. These are not signs of weakness, nor are they signs that you’re not ready to recover. This is the eating disorder pulling out all the stops in an effort to desperately maintain its grasp on you. This is a sign you are strong, and you are putting up one hell of a fight.
Recovery is not easy: it requires a tremendous leap of faith. In the end, though, someone once pointed out to me that they’ve never known anyone who regretted the decision. It’s alright if you don’t feel ready. Take the leap now, surround yourself with support, and do your best to remember why you jumped.
Nikhita is studying medicine at McMaster University, and hopes to use her experience with an eating disorder to make positive contributions to the field and empower others to seek support. Some of her other passions include travelling, photography, and reading anything she can get her hands on!
By Danielle Raymond
June 2nd was the first ever World Eating Disorders Action Day. On one hand, I want to be excited that such an important issue now has its own day, but on the other hand, I cannot bring myself to celebrate quite yet. Although this day will hopefully mean more activism, the fact that eating disorders have become a big enough problem to warrant their own day also means that we are not where we need to be.
With this in mind, I want to share something that we can all do to make the world a bit better, especially for those who struggle with eating disorders and poor body image. It’s very simple and practical: Do not comment on other people’s weight. Period.
First of all, it’s not our business what other people weigh. And not only that, it doesn’t matter. In fact, weight doesn’t matter. As a predictor of health, it has value, but only when considered with other predictors of health, not in isolation of them. And the other thing about health – it comes in many shapes and sizes. Yes, we have been living in a culture that touts weight, among other things, as all-important, defining characteristics, but this is only to prime us with discontent so that we can be sold products and services.
Secondly, no one knows why another person’s body is changing. Stress, cancer, thyroid problems, hormonal imbalances, autoimmune disorders, and dozens of other medical problems can cause unintentional weight loss. Imagine how terrible it would be to compliment someone for losing weight only to find out that a terminal illness and not a fad diet was behind the person’s new look.
And then there are eating disorders.
Had people not given in to the urge to comment so freely and so constantly on my weight as a teenager, I probably would not have marched down the specious garden path that led straight to anorexia.
I am not saying that other people’s comments caused my anorexia (they didn’t) but I will say that the running commentary on my body played a significant role in laying the groundwork for what became a painful, life-threatening illness.
During a stressful period in my life, I lost weight without meaning to. It was such a small difference that I barely even noticed, but everyone else did. Everywhere I went people were congratulating me as if I’d done something really important and worthwhile. They assumed that I had lost weight on purpose, and without knowing how or why it happened, they admired me for it.
It seemed I was always running into someone who just had to say something about my “new body.” At first it was just my classmates and their parents; then it was my karate instructor, my soccer coach, my teammates, my teammates’ parents, the pharmacist, the checkout clerk, family friends, neighbours, the mail delivery person, and basically anyone else who saw the “before” and “after” leapt at the chance to tell me how much better I looked now that I had lost weight.
I hadn’t planned to rejoice and celebrate this weight loss, and I certainly hadn’t planned to continue losing more, but that’s what happened. The constant weight-focused attention made me feel as though my body was not mine; it was everyone’s. Its purpose was not to do things, but to look a certain way, and then to be scrutinized or lauded accordingly. Most of all, it was to be controlled. My body could never be authentic, and neither could I.
In my pre-anorexia days, I had secretly admired thinness, but I had never strived for it. As a severely ill, underweight husk of my former self, I had attained the elusive thin body, and as always, even though I was emaciated, there was still a dizzying fog of positive comments surrounding me. A few people told me I looked ill. The odd time strangers would call me, “Skeleton” when I walked by, but mostly people complimented and encouraged me. I knew I looked unwell, but it wasn’t until recovery that I started to see that all these comments were flowing from our culture, and that they really didn’t have anything to do with me at all.
I used to think that gaining weight was the worst thing that could happen to me. I knew, of course, that there were plenty of other, way more terrible things that could happen, but gaining weight was a fear that hovered over me, waiting to strike me down. Being in a culture that is saturated with images and ideas of how a woman is “supposed” to look also made it very hard for me to purposely gain the weight I needed to. I was living in a version of reality where I was only one move ahead of unmitigated terror, and it was always about to slam down on me.
And then one of those way more terrible things happened: My sister, Shannon, died.
The grief was paralyzing. It wasn’t until the months that followed, when the shock began to wear off, that I realized the true cost of my eating disorder.
Shannon mattered so much more than my weight, but I had not always shown her that. That I often chose my eating disorder over her is a regret I still carry with me. Now that she is gone, I can never make it up to her.
Wherever my sister is, I hope she can see that I am healthy now. I am also much wiser than I used to be.
People still make comments, of course, but now I see them for what they are: Mere reflections of our culture’s idea of an attractive body. It’s easy to adopt the dominant idea of attractiveness when we have all been bathing in its tyranny from birth. In fact, the young-thin-pretty female ideal is so pervasive we have almost lost the freedom to decide what is beautiful for ourselves. Rejecting these indoctrinated preferences requires a degree of open-mindedness and critical thinking.
We’ve all been fed lies about our bodies, but here is the truth: Health is important, but it is not synonymous with a certain body type. Strength and fitness are physiological qualities, not the privilege that comes with having a body that looks a certain way. Attractiveness is more than one narrow, predetermined definition of beauty that is churned out and served to us by mass media and marketing companies.
Oh, and I don’t weigh myself anymore because what I weigh doesn’t matter. And I don’t comment on other people’s weight because what they weight doesn’t matter either.
Danielle holds an undergraduate degree in psychology. In the future, she plans to pursue graduate studies in counselling psychology. She devotes her spare time to advocacy work, playing sports, and enjoying the outdoors. She is fully recovered.
By Asaka Kaneda
A young girl places herself strategically in front of the mirror, sideways, so that the incoming light accentuates the hollow crevices between her ribs. Her frail figure barely stays upright as she sucks deep into her diaphragm, and each protruding segment of her rib cage reminds you of the human skeletal model that hung in front of your biology classroom — limp and lifeless.
I can tell you this right now. My eating disorder never looked like this.
Even when I got to the point where my life became completely controlled by the wrath of restricting, binging, and over-exercising, I was never really that thin. My weight only ever dipped slightly below the healthy range, and looking back, I can honestly say that there hasn’t been a point in my life where I appeared to be noticeably sick. I presume that this was why it came as such a shock to most of my family and friends when I went public about my five-year struggle with an eating disorder.
To many of them, eating disorders only had one portrait — the one that the media has come to embrace. The skin and bones, the fighting for life through tubes, the inability to function in everyday life. No one suspects the active, energetic girl that’s decided to take on a ‘healthy eating’ regimen, or who just so happens to be busy every time you invite them out for dinner, or tells you that she’s chosen to eat before and is ‘too full’ to have anything.
It all began with a seemingly harmless ‘tone up’ initiative that I had taken on following a phase of gradual weight gain in my late teens. First, it was simply having one cookie instead of the usual three that I would have for a snack. Then, it was replacing the one cookie with an apple, the apple with nothing, dinner with an apple… which eventually turned into no dinner at all, with an hour-long workout at the gym in its place. Before I could recognize what was actually happening, my everyday life became revolved around the scrutinization of food intake, along with the complete inability to skip a single exercise at the gym. But when I ran into acquaintances that I hadn’t met in a while, I would often be complimented with a, “Hey, you look great! Did you lose weight?”, and these words soon became my ecstasy — my addiction.
After a while of locking myself in to a strict, strenuous regimen (and admittedly losing a significant amount of weight), my sheer physical need to survive began to take over, and a new villain appeared. At the end of each and every day, I began to cave to the famished plea of my hollow stomach, and night after night, I would consume my entire day’s worth of restricted intake in a matter of minutes, gorging uncontrollably on anything and everything that I could get my hands on.
What came after each binging episode was what ultimately tore me apart. Each night, I was filled to the rim with a preposterous amount of food, along with the overwhelming sensation of self-hatred as I crawled into bed. Staring at the ceiling, I let myself drown under wave after wave of guilt and self-loathing, coming to the realization that I had failed yet again to meet my self-imposed rules of restraint. After having spent the entire day turning down plans with my friends for the sake of skipping a meal, or passing on my favourite pastries while I studied at the cafe, there I was again — doubly weighed down by the food that I had just inhaled, and the burden of it on my conscience. In the time it would take for me to fall asleep, the self-hate would gradually give way to the obsession to negate, and the next morning’s schedule would be set: wake up at 6:00am with four hours of sleep. Hit the gym. Burn it all off.
What most people fail to understand is that during this entire time through which I was suffering from mental torment, on the outside, I appeared to be completely healthy. With the stringent training that I was doing at the gym, my body wasn't a vision of skin and bones, but toned with muscle definition. On the rare occasions when I did let myself take a second to re-think my disordered habits, the tenacious fear of reverting and losing all of my ‘progress’ would assume its place instantaneously.
I write with the hopes that someday soon, a shift will occur with the ways in which we perceive eating disorders, and understand them for what they truly are. By and large, eating disorders are mental, yet have somehow come to be synonymous with its potential, physical effects. Too many people, whether it be themselves or a loved one, live in a void of denial due to the belief that they just aren’t thin enough or sick enough. Things need to change. Eating disorders are about so much more than the shocking vision of skin and bones — and recognition of this fact on a greater scale is one of the first steps that must be taken in fighting against this ever-growing social epidemic.
Asaka is a recent graduate from the University of British Columbia, where she pursued her interests in Sociology and Gender Relations. Having spent much of her student life fighting and recovering in silence from eating disorders, she has now found her passion in reflecting and writing on her personal past experiences. She hopes that her recollections will both provide support to those who are suffering, as well as spread awareness on the largely overlooked, stigmatized issues surrounding eating disorders.
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By Emma Louise Pudge
World Eating Disorders Day promotes the “Nine Truths About Eating Disorders” – a statement of principles that aims to clarify public understanding, increase awareness, reduce stigma and demand evidence-based, comprehensive treatment for eating disorders. Although eating disorders are one of the most-discussed mental health problems in the media, the global impact of eating disorders is consistently underrepresented, and marginalized or underserved populations are left out of the conversation. These “Nine Truths” demand that we take into account the complexity and diversity of eating disorders within an action-oriented approach to improving outcomes worldwide.
Truth #1: Many people with eating disorders look healthy, yet may be extremely ill.
Misinformation has conditioned us to see eating disorders as weight disorders. However, the latest edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) has removed the weight criteria since the physical and psychological effects of eating disorders are experienced across the weight spectrum.
Truth #2: Families are not to blame, and can be the patients’ and providers’ best allies in treatment.
Although family factors can play a role in the genesis and maintenance of eating disorders, there is no such thing as the ‘typical’ eating disorder family. Family-based treatment (FBT) is an evidence-based treatment for children and adolescents with eating disorders, and new treatments, such as Neurobiologically Enhanced with Family/Friends Eating Disorder Trait Response (NEW FED-TR) are now being developed to treat adults.
Truth #3: An eating disorder diagnosis is a health crisis that disrupts personal and family functioning.
Whilst symptoms may present themselves most strongly at meal times, these interactions with food frequently stand in for a much more pervasive experience of disorder that extends across a person’s private and public life, impacting their ability to live independently.
Truth #4: Eating disorders are not choices, but serious biologically influenced illnesses.
Conflating eating disorders with diet culture not only fails to recognise the complex relationship between eating disorders and diet culture, it also overlooks the role of biology in the development of eating disorders. Currently, some legislation and insurance statutes limit mental health parity for eating disorders because they are not considered biologically based illnesses.
Truth #5: Eating disorders affect people of all genders, ages, races, ethnicities, body shapes and weights, sexual orientations, and socioeconomic statuses.
Receiving an eating disorder diagnosis relies on being recognized as someone who has an eating disorder. People who do not match stereotypical ideas of what an eating disorder sufferer looks like (eg. young, white, affluent, female) face additional barriers to accessing appropriate care, or they may be reluctant to seek out treatment in the first place. Eating disorders may present themselves differently across people of different genders, ages, ethnicities, and additional cultural or contextual factors, such as religious fasting or poverty, may disguise the symptoms of an eating disorder.
Truth #6: Eating disorders carry an increased risk for both suicide and medical complications.
Anorexia Nervosa has the highest mortality rate of any psychiatric illness but serious medical complications and suicide affect eating disorder suffers at a range of body weights. Recent UK reports suggest that mental health deaths are under-reported, and eating disorders are currently not recorded in any official government health statistics.
Truth #7: Genes and environment play important roles in the development of eating disorders.
Eating disorders are not 100% genetic, nor are they 100% environmental. Instead, they are the result of complex interactions between genes and the environment in proportions that vary between individuals.
Truth #8: Genes alone do not predict who will develop eating disorders.
Genetics load the gun, but environment pulls the trigger. Being genetically predisposed to eating disorders does not guarantee you will develop one, since exposure to environmental risk and protective factors varies widely between individuals, even within in a shared environment (e.g. same country/school/household).
Truth #9: Full recovery from an eating disorder is possible. Early detection and intervention are important.
Treatment is more likely to be successful if applied in the early stages of illness, yet it is frequently withheld until people have reached critically low weights. Patients who are able to access the full continuum of care, from early intervention, to intensive treatment and therapy, as well as ongoing or follow-up support are more likely to achieve full recovery.
Get involved using the hashtags #WorldEatingDisordersDay and #WeDoAct on social media
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Emma is an undergraduate student at the University of Exeter, England, where she lives. She became involved with Looking Glass Foundation whilst studying abroad at the University of Victoria, BC. Emma has recovered from an eating disorder and hopes to explore the topic of eating disorder recovery through a feminist, socio-cultural lens in future postgraduate studies.
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By Kaela Scott
Question: I have suffered from an eating disorder for a long time, will I ever fully recover?
Answer: I love this question largely because it is something I so strongly believe in and also because it is something that highly depends on how you define recovery.
I think one of the most critical pieces to actual recovery is learning what recovery means to you and trying to hold onto hope, even in the darkest hours. In my practice, I have had some people define recovery as no longer engaging in behaviours, others who define it as weight restoration and still others who believe recovery means being free of all parts of their eating disorder.
To me, recovery means your eating disorder is no longer a part of your life in any capacity, whether that’s the behaviours, thoughts or emotions. It means having a healthy, loving and supportive relationship with self and your body and no longer being consumed by the eating disorder’s abuse and control. It means filling your time with the things that make you happy and believing in your own strengths and abilities. It means having an authentic relationship with yourself – one where you know yourself and you act on your own behalf (vs. the eating disorder’s behalf).
Knowing what your own definition of recovery is will play a significant role in determining if and when you have fully recovered. As with anything, if you don’t know where you are going, you won’t know when you have arrived. So the first thing I would recommend is that you spend some time really thinking about what you want your own recovery to look like. Once you have that, start working towards it. Every single step makes a difference... Every. Single. Step. Even asking that question means you are further along then you once were. So know that even though some steps don’t feel significant, they are. Keep taking steps and trust, as hard as it may be, that your recovery can happen. I have experienced it, and I have had many clients of mine experience it and there was nothing different about your journey than ours. Additionally, try to hold onto hope that recovery can be yours. Even if you have been struggling for a long time, there is nobody and nothing that gets to determine if you get to be well. That choice is yours, so hold onto the hope within you (or find external people or things that give you hope if you can’t find it within yourself) and know that your recovery will happen if you keep working at it. Sometimes it will feel like you are pushing a square boulder up a hill, but then you will have moments where it will feel like things are falling together and moving smoothly. Keep going step by step and your version of recovery will be yours.
One final word: There are ways in which one’s focus on recovery is lifelong – not from their eating disorder per se, but rather from all the bumps we experience on life’s journey. If you recover from your eating disorder and then stop focusing on continuing to move yourself forward, or stop doing self care, you will stop being the best version of yourself that you can be. You may not relapse but you also won’t feel healthy, happy or secure within yourself. So in some ways, while the investment in self never stops, it becomes easier and much more rewarding.
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Kaela Scott is a Registered Clinical Counsellor who specializes in Eating Disorders. She runs her own private practice and works with the Looking Glass Foundation in both their summer camp and their Hand In Hand Program. She has been passionate about working with eating disorders since freeing herself from her own struggle and realizing what it is like to be happy and well. When she isn’t working, you can find Kaela either cozying up with a cup of tea and her friends or up in the mountains going for a hike.
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By Carolyn Digby
Comparison can lead us down a dangerous path, even more so for someone suffering an eating disorder. We've all had those moments where we think if we could change just one or maybe a few things about ourselves, everything would be perfect. If only we were a little more like this person or that person, wouldn't that be great? If it weren’t just for this, or for that, life would be a breeze.
These unhealthy comparisons and dreams of perfectionism are often rampant, dominating everyday thoughts. It's a feeling I know all too well, and was a consistent theme throughout my earlier struggles with anorexia. I had such a disregard for my own strengths, and constantly compared myself to others to the point where I would drive myself crazy with anxiety. I wanted so badly to be this beautiful, smart and successful "alpha" woman; it infiltrated everything I did. I could never enjoy anything because there was always this nagging feeling in the back of my mind: "Well, this person does it better. Maybe I should try to be more like them" or "If only I was prettier or smarter, then I would have x, y and z and everything would be perfect! It was unhealthy and fed into my insecurities, which in turn kept my eating disorder alive.
This stream of logic can be a hard cycle to break but definitely not impossible. In the years since my recovery, I've learned some practices to help keep these thoughts at bay and recognize my own value as a person, without using comparison as a basis.
Here are a few of the practices that helped me:
The point here is to show yourself some love, and cut yourself a break. Nobody can be everything to everyone, nor should you be. Next time you find yourself playing the ever-dreaded perfectionist game in your mind, try out one of the above methods, with no judgment or pressure. We all deserve to feel good about ourselves, as we are!
Carolyn went to the University of Victoria for psychology, and is currently working towards applying for a Master's degree in the same subject. She hopes to uncover what sociological and personality aspects contribute to the development of eating disorders. Otherwise, Carolyn loves writing, drawing, travelling the world, and of course, her handsome cat.
By Ljudmila Petrovic
Type in “summer” and “body” into Google and you get pages upon pages of workout and diet plans, usually accompanied by a picture of a shimmering female abdomen (face often not included) against a beach backdrop. As soon as the weather shows any indication of warming up, we are bombarded with messages about our bodies and their "imperfections" which, according to these articles and ads, get more glaring and unacceptable during the summer.
But let us call it what it is. Any magazine, program or product that advertises that it can help you “get your best beach body ever!!!” is not really there to help. It is there to body shame until consumers hate themselves enough to buy these products in the hope that this fitness class, bottled smoothie, or diet supplement will fix the lifetime of shame that has been instilled upon us.
As artist Caroline Caldwell said: "In a society that profits from your self-doubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act." This is that much truer at this time of year, when the "health" and diet industries' body-shaming is at its peak.
So, rather than immediately buying into this, let’s first take a moment to break down the concept of a “beach/bikini/summer body.”
The whole idea rests on the premise that our worth and the worth of our bodies are determined by how aesthetically pleasing they are to others—not even our partners or loved ones at that, but what complete strangers that we may never see again and that don’t know a thing about us think about our bodies. This, in turn, assumes that others actually care; in reality, most people don’t. Lastly, it implies that our bodies are never good enough to be seen by others, that we can always be skinnier or fitter. As people in recovery from eating disorders know, this is dangerous and disordered thinking, the kind that we have to work on for years to break out of in order to heal. The fact that this kind of thinking has been normalized in advertising shows how much more work we have to do. But as recent campaigns have shown, we are taking some big steps towards abolishing toxic body-shaming messages.
Even for the most confident among us, standing under fluorescent lights in a small mirrored dressing room is bound to spark at least a little self-scrutiny--especially after the lifetime of body-shaming and weight loss marketing we have all been subjected to. Which is why it's so refreshing to see so many women fighting back against these messages. Around this time last year, for example, Protein World released a bright yellow ad for its "weight loss collection" which featured a muscular woman standing against the backdrop of the words: "Are you beach body ready?" With 71,101 signatures on the Change.org petition and a social media backlash so strong that the ad got banned in the UK, the response was overwhelming and made the news worldwide. "Every body is beach ready," read one response. Another posted a satirical three steps to getting a beach body: 1) Locate your body, 2) Take it to the beach, 3) That's it.
Protein World's responses on Twitter were equally as insensitive and sexist as the initial ad. It was just one of the many triggering and body-shaming ad campaigns that have taken the "beach body" approach, but the solidarity of people banding against this message is the most inspiring thing to take from this situation. The fact that consumers (mainly women) are not accepting these messages, that they have platforms to share these ideas, and that there are enough people banding together against these messages to ban an ad like Protein World's in the UK, are all indicators that we are moving forward, even if they are tiny steps.
Your “best body ever” is completely subjective. It might be the body that makes you feel strong, healthy, capable. It might be the body that results from grueling spinning classes and kale smoothies, but it might not be. It might be the body that carried you through university or a backpacking trip or a pregnancy. The bottom line is: bodies come in different shapes and sizes during the other three seasons of the year, and this doesn’t change in the summer. The only thing you need to make your body beach ready is to make sure to put on sunscreen.
Ljudmila graduated from SFU, where she studied psychology and gender studies. She lives in Vancouver, BC and is doing her MA in counselling psychology, with the goal of doing women-centred therapy.
By Kaela Scott
Question: Can boys develop an eating disorder? I think my son is making himself sick but I am not sure what to do?
Answer: Yes! This is a really valuable question because sadly eating disorders are often believed to only affect teenage girls. Males can absolutely develop eating disorders. In fact, approximately 10-15% of people who suffer from anorexia or bulimia are male. Additionally, males are much less likely to receive treatment because they tend to tell themselves it is a disorder that only affects females, so they suffer in silence for even longer.
So if you do think your son is making himself sick I would recommend that you trust your instinct and that you give yourself permission to be a concerned parent. If you are going to talk to him about it here is what I would recommend:
Don’t ask him straight out if he has an eating disorder because if he doesn’t feel ready to address it yet, he will likely tell you he is fine and shut you out. Additionally, many people struggle with the term eating disorder, using these words to begin with may cause greater resistance to getting help. Instead, check in on him and tell him you are concerned. Ask him if he is okay and then tell him you heard him making himself sick. Let him know you aren’t angry or upset, you just want to make sure he is okay. He may choose to talk about it, he may not. Your job is simply to reinforce that you love him, are concerned for his wellbeing and that you are there to talk when he is ready.
Broaching this topic isn’t easy for anyone and it is likely that it will make you and your son anxious. Remember the first step is raising the topic. You don’t have to come up with a solution right away (it is likely you won’t) but you do need to remind him that you take his wellbeing seriously and won’t neglect his suffering. After a few weeks, raise the issue again by letting him know you are concerned, that you don’t want to sit back as he hurts himself and propose some options for getting help.
Eating disorders affect many males and it is important you intervene as soon as you can. The faster you get the ball rolling, the faster your son gets well.
Kaela Scott is a Registered Clinical Counsellor who specializes in Eating Disorders. She runs her own private practice and works with the Looking Glass Foundation in both their summer camp and their Hand In Hand Program. She has been passionate about working with eating disorders since freeing herself from her own struggle and realizing what it is like to be happy and well. When she isn’t working, you can find Kaela either cozying up with a cup of tea and her friends or up in the mountains going for a hike.
On Friday March 4th, we returned to the Rocky Mountaineer Station in Vancouver to host our 12th Annual Fundraising Gala. Some 325 guests joined us in celebrating our many accomplishments over the past year as well as our exciting plans for the year to come.
This year's theme was tied into our Something's Gotta Give campaign – a digital conversation, public rally, and a feature length documentary that centers on a single question: "If we're really going to get to the other side of eating disorders, something's gotta give ... what IS it?
The night began with a cocktail reception, hosted by our Platinum sponsor, TELUS. Guests were treated to a fabulous array of appetizers and cocktails while gazing over the many, many amazing silent auction items ranging from Vancouver Canucks signed gear to wine boxes to beautiful pieces of artwork and hand made jewellery.
As the cocktail reception winded down, guests entered into the beautifully decorated dining room where they were welcomed by Michel Proulx, Branch Manager at Scotiabank’s North Vancouver Branch on behalf of the evening's Presenting sponsor, Scotiabank. Long-time emcee Pamela Martin then took to the stage to get the main events underway. (Pamela is pictured above with Board Chair, Malcolm Leitch)
Before entering into the Live Auction and Fund In Need, our very own Kaela Scott took to the stage to share her story and perspectives on eating disorder recovery. Kaela has recently joined the Looking Glass to lead our new Hand in Hand Support program. A peer support program that provides regular, meaningful support for anyone who is either seeking to recover from their own eating disorder or to support themselves and their loved ones through another’s recovery journey.
After Kaela's heartfelt delivery, long time friend of the Looking Glass and "celebrity auctioneer" Howard Blank took the stage with Pamela to get the bidding started. Howard always brings amazing energy to the stage and we are thankful for his dedication and support each year.
Just as it has in the past, "Fire in the Kitchen", a luxurious dinner for 8 prepared by the Vancouver Fire Fighters, was the auction hot item with several groups furiously trying to outbid each other. It was White House Design Company that squeezed in with the winning number. Here is Jan from White House pictured with a few of Vancouver Fire Fighters.
With the serious business aside, it was time to really get the party started. Vancouver's Famous Players Band took to the stage to get the room on their feet. Guests hit the dance floor and danced the night away!
The evening was a spectacular success! We have to thank all of our sponsors, auction donors and guests for making it all possible. Getting to the other side of eating disorder is what the Looking Glass Foundation is all about. Each year, It touches our hearts just how supportive and generous our Looking Glass Community really is. With your help, you truly are helping us make a difference. Together, we really can get to the other side of eating disorders!
Thank you!
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